3 Not so romantic moves in Nigeria

I recently saw a movie where the protagonist was given one week to prove his undying love for the love of his life. Some of the things he tried were drop dead romantic and some where...well...not that much. I started thinking what would it be like if a guy in Nigeria was faced with this challenge?

Sorry sha, I'm not about to give you seven romantic ideas to prove undying love but I can give you 3 romantic ideas that have the opposite effect.

This is no form of generalisation. I know not everyone is the same so this isn't valid for every woman you might meet but at least you would know enough not to try them anyhow.

1. FLOWERS: I still don't even get this one but there is that smile that comes to the face of a woman when a guy shows up at her door with a bouquet of flowers or even a single rose...at least in the movies anyway. Now I'm not really sure why but it doesn't seem to elicit the same reaction over here. Maybe it's the wrong type of red rose. Maybe we don't have the right glands to find it appealing or maybe you simply would be considered thrifty...The point is over here flowers are just what they are: flowers. They belong in a garden and that's where she wants to see them; not in your hands.

2. ROSE PETALS, RED SHEETS, SCENTED CANDLES: This one should have been romantic but thanks to nollywood you can kiss it goodbye. Imagine getting to a girl's house and finding an open door with rose petals on the floor leading to a semi dark area just around the corner. Once in the first thing you notice is her lying down on a bed with red sheets surrounded by scented candles...well?
I asked a few people and one word kept coming up and I think you have the word in your head by now: RITUALS. Some guys might argue that they won't be bothered and maybe they won't but I just think if you don't want her running back and screaming "he wants to use me for blood money", I suggest you on your gen.

3. THE NIGHT DRIVE:
So those Americans down south grab a truck full of Beer, drive to the country side and park in a nice remote spot with a good view of either the moon or the town...sometimes both and they have a good time. Oya wake up. Try that rubbish here and you will be lucky not to fall into police hands. If that wasn't deterrent enough, which kind mumu country side wey get remote spot no go be armed robber hideout?  There might be a few exceptions but the general rule...especially with the current security challenges we face is not to be in funny places in the day talk more of in the night. Besides if the girl has any sense at all...she no go gree follow you.

Which others come to your mind?

10 Nigerian stress killers

Hey people, ever had a day where it just seemed like ever thing was just too much? A day when you wish you could just disappear for a while. Then you realise you can't and it makes you bitter and irritable. Then when bimbo says you are annoying you begin to wonder if she knows you or has just been handing around Musa for too long.

The truth is at some point we all get stressed out. More so in our beloved naija.  The holdup.  The annoying oga or that annoying landlord. House rent matters plus school fees and a 5 month old kid who's hobby is either 'how much can I poop' or 'how loud can I cry'. Don't even get me started on nepa and very annoying neighbours. Or that mechanic that messed with your car and now it's making that funny sound....See? You know what I'm saying. This is our life and how can we not be stressed?

So I made a list of 10 tips that have helped me and decided to share. So grab a chair and read.

1. READ: Face it. As long as you're reading this article you unconsciously put down most of your cares for a while. I start with this because it's easily accessible and really the cheapest tip I have used. After a hard day, just as you hit the bed your mind plays your day all over and most times you start thinking of things and then you don't sleep well. Get something to read. Anything that isn't serious. I usually log on to nairaland and browse through the jokes and romance section and usually find a lot to laugh about. Some people read about sports. Others read novels. The point is reading helps relax your brain. (As long as it isn't school or work related anyway). If that doesn't work, don't worry. I've got 9 more up my sleeve.

2. WALK: Say you get home and nepa has done it again. You know how your shoulders just go down and you suddenly feel even more tired than you already felt. Take a shower and wear something loose and casual. Step outside and take a small stroll. This is especially good for couples. Get your wife outside the house and this time not to go to the market or pick the kids. You don't even have to walk far. Mallams shop is a good enough distance. Look around if you're alone and you could even listen to music. You might find out that some things about your neighbourhood you normally wouldn't notice. Enjoy the view. Suya smoke. Fish sellers setting up. Barbers and salons with their smoking gens and those annoying bikes that think the road is theirs. Once immersed in this chaos you'll be lost in it and your mind leaves the days worries behind. At least for a while. Greet malam for me o.

3. TALK: Look one thing you will always find readily available is talkers. They are in your office, in your school, in your area and even in your church. I live in abuja. Kubwa to be precise and once in a while I just go outside to talk aimlessly. It's not a habit. Just a way to relive stress. You'll always find talking points. From telemundo to premier league.  From kids to apc vs pdp. A plus with this is that you get to meet new people. Try to stay away from loud music tho.  That doesn't help in anyway...except you're an avid clubber in which case you wouldn't need to be reading this.

4. PLAY: This might not work for a lot of people but it is a big stress killer. You can even do it once a week and still get stellar results. Find a sport, ride a bike, go swimming...ok fine...go and watch people play a sport or do something you're to lazy to do. Stress makes us feel old. Play does the opposite. Strike a balance today and see how fulfilling it could be. This is one of my favorites.

5. SLEEP: All I've written is fine and dandy but look, nothing beats Saturday sleep. Forget about everything. The house won't fall down before 12pm.  Sleep very well at least one Saturday in a month. Don't worry about that wedding...you can arrive at the reception late. This one doesn't need much explanation....don't wake up early on Saturday.

6. THE CHICKEN REPUBLIC/MR. BIGGS FACTOR: Some people might frown at this but me I no send. Grab your phone one evening or during the weekend and walk into an eatery. Buy one meatpie and a drink and sit down with either a book or your phone. You are guaranteed at least 1 hour of peace and air conditioning while you idly chat or read or browse or do whatever it is you want to do. Increase the fun buy adding a friend. Remember this is to link stress...so guys don't invite that babe you are toasting unless it's a date. I do this a lot. It's cheaper than you think and just as much fun and you can imagine...In abuja the air conditioning is a big boost which makes this my second favourite.

7. WRITE: Some sharp people would figure from this particular point that this article serves as a stress reducing agent for me and the would be right. Most people would tell you they can't write and I am not Oprah that will tell you you can. If you can't write then you can't write. Which makes this even better because now there is no pressure. Grab a notepad or a diary or your phone. Write down your thoughts....as they come in any order they come. Trust me you'll be surprised at what you manage to produce and some of you may find out that maybe Oprah was right after all.

8. Movie/Karaoke Night: Yeah...you know na. This one is simple. I prefer me and my headphones in the toilet singing like I'm in maybe idols West Africa. ..what ever works for you sha....It kills stress like a boring person kills basket mouths show.

9. BUILD/FIX SOMETHING: For my dad it's usually his car. As far as he is concerned there is always something wrong with it. It allows you discover talents. Doesn't have to be a big thing. Eniola does free make up for her neighbours and mike try to sew some crazy designs I will never buy. I like to fix my annoying generator. Between that diy I printed online and what I've been watching that mechanic do I usually get a good grip. Point is do something with your hands that isn't a chore or your daily work. Here are a few tips: rearrange your furniture. Fix that bad tap. Clean the back of your television (you know there is dust there)...doesn't have to be a big thing but it helps if it takes at least and hour and makes you sweat. Combine that with good music or good jist and stress just died. Charlie Boy must attend this funeral too....

10. ROMMA ROMMA: Yes we all need some of that. Gaan figure it out on your own.

[CUSTOM ROM] Phantom A2: Flash them all

So after much thought, I decided to make this file to save both parties much stress. This file simply allows you to port any A+ rom I have made to your phone. Its simple but let me put number so that It'll look official.

1. Download the porter HERE
2. Download any of the A+ roms you want from my blog (please note that whatever bugs it has on the A+ will also be on the A2 so check the comments and reviews especially on nairaland)
3. Make a backup of your rom with CWM (please this is a very important step)
4. Flash the A+ rom to your device (remember to wipe data/factory reset before flashing)
5. Flash the porter
6. Reboot
7* This isn't expected to happen but if your device is stuck at the boot logo (aka doesn't boot) just remove your battery and put it back. then boot into CWM again and go to backup and restore. Now select advanced restore and choose the most recent backup (which should be the one you made at step 3. Shey I told you it was important abi?) and select restore boot. Once that is done, reboot again. It should boot just fine now.

Kit Kat is still far off o. The apps work but the framework has refused to boot so please be patient. Thanks for your time. Happy Porting

Unbricking Phantom A

Unbricking Tecno A

Ok so you rooted and installed apps and somehow and someway you managed to brick your device...lets fix it.

FILES
First of all, here are the files you will need:

1. Stock rom for phantom A: Here and get the flash files here

2. Specific flashtool that works on A: Here

3. Drivers for the A: Here (I would advice that you uninstall any previous drivers for any tecno you have installed as they might cause a conflict. here is a way to test if your drivers are working properly. with the phone off, open your computers device manager and plug the phone. you should see "mediatek preloader..." come up for about 5 seconds and disappear. if it shows with a yellow arrow on it then the drivers are not installed correctly. if it doesnt have the yellow arrow then you are good to go.)

DISCLAIMER: Follow THESE instructions and Download THESE files for TECNO PHANTOM A only. I will not be held for any mishap caused by instructions followed from somewhere else.


HOW TO FLASH:
1. now open the folder where u downloaded d files to (everything must be in d same folder o) and cut the scatter file out and paste it in anoda place (anywhere. just make sure its not in d same folder as the other files).
open sp flash tools and use d file tab to load DAT scatter file.

2. now it should show you a list of things to flash. untick everything except recovery, boot and system (that means only these 3 should be ticked o). now double click on d word recovery and select d recovery you downloaded there. please make sure everything is in d same folder o.
do the same for the boot and system image u downloaded.

3. remove the bat3 from the bricked or unhappy A. click download in sp flash tools and plug d bricked f7. flashing will begin and when it ends you should see a green circle. if it doesnt start den remove and plug again. if you try three times and it doesnt flash den u didnt install the drivers correctly.

4.if you see the green circle then congrats you have successfully flashed your phone. now please first things first, after you finish patting yourself on the back about what a wonderful guru you are. put off the phone and wait for it to vibrate. the hold the volume up button and press and hold the power button until it shows you three options. use the volume button to navigate to recovery mode and use the volume down button to select it. cwm should boot. now please backup your phone.

thank you guys...its been a pleasure.

If You have any questions, place a comment here.

Let's pretend

Let's pretend we cared and it all made sense
Let's believe we did our best and it all paid off
Because if we don't then we accept the blame
And are responsible for the broken glass

Let's pretend we actually voted
Pretend we got who we wanted
Because if we can't then the wolves come out
And we are left with sheep's clothing

Let's pretend it was our choice
Say we agreed to the policies
So we can say we have failed
And karma has paid

Let's pretend they had good lives
Nod our heads and say it was destiny
That way the bombs would be from God
And the blame not on us

Let's pretend we are all educated
And that our leaders are wise
And then we could Rest assured
We are represented outside as we should be

Let's pretend public officials were true
Let's assume they are misunderstood
That way we can join hands and search
For that elusive saboteur crippling us

Let's pretend this wasn't Nigeria
Let's call it an experiment
Little learned and little gained
Let's call it a day.

[CUSTOM ROM] Melting Rocks III for Tecno A+ and A2

Without too much talk, I give you version III. Remember, I am irresponsible.
This is an OS update so for all intents an purposes it would be like stock Samsung.

1) Download Melting Rocks III.zip File Here for A+ and here for A2
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go To CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data
5) Take a deep breath
6) Wipe System
7) Wipe Dalvik Cache
8) Select Install From SD (Internal or External)
9) Select Melting Rocks.zip And Select YES
10) select OK

11) Reboot Your System
12) Enjoy

BTW Credit goes to Muntazir Abbas.

Tecno A+: Fix IMEI invalid error

UPDATE::: Someone called me today to say the flashing steps weren't working. So this an alternative step to fix it. Note however that this fix is only temporary. If you perform a factory reset or flash a new ROM it will revert back and you will have to do it again. You will need a working A+ without the error to fix your own.

1. Download mtk droid tools. Yeah Google it.

2. Make sure you have adb drivers installed and that USB debugging is enabled on the working A+.

3. Plug the working A+ to the computer and wait for it to be detected by the program. Note that if the program fails to correctly detect the phone then step 2 must be done again.

4. Once connected, you should see the root button. Click on it to root the phone. Note that wether or not you have rooted before you still need to perform this step. If you have superuser or super su installed you will need to click grant on your phone for the rooting to work.

5. Now you should see a notification that root access has been granted. Now click on the IMEI/NVRAM button and choose backup. This will create two files in the droid tools folder. The files will be stored inside a folder called BackupNVRAM.

6. Now plug the A+ you want to fix and perform 3 and 4 again.

7. Now click do step 5 but instead of clicking backup this time you click restore and select the file created for your phone. You will get two prompts so you select the two files created.

8. Final step. Get the pack of your phone or look behind the battery and copy out the IMEI no pasted there. Do step 5 and this time change the numbers there to the one for your phone or else you will have the same number as the other A+ which sometimes might cause problems. If you don't have access to yours u can just type a bunch of numbers or use an IMEI generator (yeah Google that too).

Thanks. 

UPDATE::: Here is a video tutorial for those having issues with the flashing: WATCH

So in the past one month I have received numerous calls, emails, dm's and blog comments. All pointing to one issue: Seun, my phone is giving me imei error and not detecting my sim card. 

At first I didn't understand why this was happening and particularly with this particular phone until it happened to me.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for this error. It is caused by in correct flashing and while that is not my fault I should have provided advice for its eventuality.

Let's fix it. Here's what you will need:
1. Sp flash tools for a+ (get it from the unbricking post)
2. Adb drivers (use pda.net)
3. Mtk drivers (get it from the unbricking post)
4. Mtk DROID tools (Google it)

It's really simple. I have modified the stock nvram partition to allow multiple imei numbers so you can flash it on your phone. Let's go

Download the nvram here

Download imei backup here

Download modded scatter file here

Now follow the procedure in the unbricking thread but use the modded scatter file instead of the default one.

Tick only nvram and point it to the nvram.bin you downloaded

Flash that and boot your phone again. It would recognize your sim cards now. But you will still have the invalid imei error.

Download mobile uncle tools from plays tore and install on your phone. Now open it and go to imei backup restore. Choose the first option. This will create a file imei.bak in your phone storage. Check your mem card of its not there.

Quit mobile uncle tools and overwrite the imei.bak file with the one you downloaded.

Open mobile uncle tools again and go back to the backup tab and chose restore. It will ask to restart your phone.

Now you have imei but not the one for your phone. You can leave it like that if you like.

If you want your own unique imei though you can use Mtk DROID tools to change it. You will find your imei behind your battery or on the carton of your phone.

Thank you for your time. Happy flashing.

UPDATE!!!

For those of you getting errors when trying to flash, its becasue tecno recently changed the partition layout of their phones...don't know why. So this is a fix for that. Go to the unbricking thread and download all the files there (just as if you had bricked your phone) then follow the instructions there. The only difference are:

1. You have to format the phone with spflash tools before you flash. Load the scatter file in this post first.

2. After formatting, you now need to flash the phone brand new again. and this time you have to load all the files when flashing. I think for this I'll make a video. But if you get the idea you can go ahead and try.